Nothing Can Come Between Us

November 22, 2008

I can mentally beat on myself. I find myself making the same mistakes over and over again. I act childish and get very timid when I feel really scared. I wear my heart on my sleeve where it seems to take a lot of abuse by strangers and loved ones alike. People imply that I lack maturity and I find myself being advised by to change most aspects about myself by a lot of people; I take that to mean that people don’t like me for who I am and struggled to maintain self confidence. After all if the people that claim to love me only tell me what’s wrong with me and insist that I change my way of thinking and being, maybe liking myself the way I am is just denial. This past week has been really hard for me, feeling of hopelessness and fear of the future makes me want to withdraw. I’m tired of looking down so let me spiritually look up. When I see God, the perfect majestic creator, and his love for me it’s hard for me to get down on myself. God is perfect and he loves me; I should follow his example and learn to love myself unconditionally as well.

Oh how I wish it were that easy. Sometimes my mind goes on the attack with hurtful thoughts: “Of course God can love you but only because he perfect but you don’t make it easy for him”, “Yeah he’s full of grace but God can’t be mocked. You want him to love you, yet you refuse to do the things you know are right”, “It only that but it takes you to looooonnng time to learn for your mistakes or repent of your sins”, “You think that just cause you know some scriptures that you can trick him into thinking you love him.”, “He knows you better than you know yourself, he sees every sin that you don’t acknowledge and get irritated when you pray; you don’t care about how he feels you just ask him for things you want like he’s Santa Claus.”, ” Yes God use to love you but he refuses to love you any more until you repent, and let face it, you will never change so just give up now.”

Lucky for me even when I’m down I know that I cannot trust these thoughts, but when I don’t deal with them they break me down and I become of vulnerable and hopeless. Here is one of many scripture that help me with this ongoing battle in my mind.

Roman 8:35-39

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

 

For you sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.

 

No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

 

To read the more of this article visit my new blog and read Nothing Can Come Between Us

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