Reading Girl

Lately I have condidered myself  a closet dork. As a child I tried not to let other kids label me as a teacher pet or a nerd. I’m no genius, I’m sure that is already obvious; I just love learningbut I wanted to blend in which meant to only giving the minium effort in school. I did not need to have designer clothes or to be to be popular; I just did not want to stand out from the crowd. So in elementary and middle school I made a point to do just the minimum, but then things changed in high school.  I maintained over a 3.25 in my freshman year, but my sophomore year it’d dropped down a 2.50. Ironnic enough it  taking difficult classes that reawakened my love of learning and my excitiment about my education.  My routine in the morning was to wake up about 5:45am so I could get dressed and make it to the bus stop by 7:30am. Every morning I rode the city bus, so it was imporatnt to make it to the bus stop early  just in case it ran late or passed me because it was too full. By my junior year I actually enjoyed taking the bus and I had my routine down to a science so that I was never late to school. One fall morning I grabbed my 40 lb bookbag, locked the door and crossed the street, and headed towards the bus stop. As soon as I crossed I noticed a man on the same side of the street walking towards me.

When I saw him I took note and immediately felt uncomfortable. I can’t tell you why, but I had a strong pull to cross the street again. That thought troubled me, why would I think that? I looked him up and down and noticed that his clothes were a little shabby. I concluded that I was unfairly stereotyping and did not want him to feel bad. I hate when woman clutch there purses in elevators and I would not do that to him. Besides I was only a couple minutes away from by bus stop and that would be a waste time to cross the street now. So I continued walking and even smiled at how silly I was being. The man made eye contact with me and I smiled. As he an approached me he said, “Excuse me, can you tell me what time it is?” “Sure, it’s 7:15” I said. He thanked me and continued walking. . A few seconds after finishing that thought I heard the sound of someone running towards me and before I had the chance to turn around The man grabbed me, put a knife to my neck and said that he would kill me if I screamed———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————             


Well, I did not see that coming. Maybe that’s why I wanted to cross the street. The man then wrapped his arm around my waist and started walking with me across the street; the knife remained at my neck. “Okay, now what do I do?” I thought to myself.  My mind quickly  scaned the files of my mind a pulled up a yellow rape pamphlet I read a whilea couple of years ago. I rembered a few of the bullet points and stopped at one that said “Tell your attacker you are on your period”. I said to myself that will never work, but with not much time to spare I thought I’d give it the old college try. I said it out loud and he retorted, “Shut up bitch or I’ll cut your throat.” Oh well that did not work at all, now what? My mind raced to analyze the situation. I looked like he was taking me to the alley behind a restaurant. I concluded that he wanted to rape me there. It was light outside and the alley was right off of a main street. I thought that if he was going to rape me in the broad day light he must be a little crazy so I decided that I would not fight back, but if he tried to kill me all bets were off. I made a promise to myself, “I will not die today”. As we approached the alley the man said, “Listen slut if you don’t do what I fucking say I will kill you bitch.” I could not believe it. “How dare you!?! You don’t even know me!  I’m not a slut and you should not call me out of my name.” I thought to myself. I honestly was tempted to say something like that out loud but knew that now was not the time to be offended. 148/365"Murderess" We walked down the alley but to my surprise he turned the corner and walked me towards a car that was parked between two buildings. My senses immediately heightened and I knew that this was very serious. I looked at the license plate attempting to memorize it, but he moved me quickly up against the car. With his body pressed against mine he removed the knife from my neck and opened the car door. The car was a two door and the passenger seat was already pushed forward he pulled me towards the opening and grabbed my head, pushing me into the car. Without thinking about it my hands reached for the door frame and I pushed back with all my strength. It was a battle of wills we both pushed against each other  until I fell back. Now lon the gravel looking up at the man and I made myself a new promise. I was going to walk away without a scar. I told myself to kick away the knife and to scream at the top of my lungs. Every time he came at me with the knife I kicked his hand and arms away from me, but it took so much of my focus that I’m not sure I remembered to scream.

Time seemed to stand still but I would guess that I was down on my back a little more than a minute before the man started to run. I jumped to my feet and ran to the sidewalk off of the main street and screamed as loud as I could.   I looked to the right and I saw three women at the bus stop. They looked towards me for a few seconds and then turned their gaze towards the street as if noticed nothing.  I stood there and continued to scream envisioning a least a few cars would stop and come to my rescue, but no one stopped. I was scared to leave the spot because I did not want this man  to come back for his car and get away. I was tempted to grab my book bag and throw it through the windshield, but I did not know where the man was and I thought that I would have to save myself first and hope that the police catch him later. I decided to go  the restaurant just past the bus stop. As I approached the three women I asked them if they remember seeing a man in a brown leather jacket. They said they had and I told them he tried to kidnap me. They all looked away without a word. I recognized one of them as a student at my school. I asked her for her name with the hopes that she could be a witness if needed (I wanted to get their numbers but thought that I need to move quickly).

I walked into the reaturant and told a waitress what happened. WIth the a look of compassion she said she was sorry but I could use their phone; instead she gave my change to use their pay phone. I thought about calling the police but at 16 years-old I could not help it, and I called my mommy. “Mommy——- I’m at IHOP just down the street. A man tried to push me into his car, but I got away.” With those words I turned into a scared little girl with a shaky voice, my whole body trembled. I heard the fear and anxiety in my mother’s voice. All I can remember her saying is I’ll be right there…………. 

TECINICAL DIFFICUTIES:  The allignment is off and I don’t know how to fix it.  If you had trouble reading the post try going to  please visit LL&L.





Healthy Snacks

January 15, 2009

Some people think that you have to starve to lose weight but it is not true. If you do not consume enough calories in each day your metabolism slow greatly and you feel listless which leads to burn less calories because you movement are slower. Even if you follow a great meal plan to the letter but you feel hungry it can lead to binge eating later, so snacks are key to any weight lose or healthy eating plan. If you plan ahead it will be easy to grab the healthy snack, don’t leave yourself vulnerable to the vending machine.

Japanese Vending Machine Robot


Below are a couple lists from the Mayo Clinic that can help with  planning healthy snack .


Choose healthy snacks

Select foods that satisfy your hunger, supply your body with energy and provide important nutrients. Here are some of your best snack picks:

  • Whole grains. Whole-grain snacks are rich in fiber and complex carbohydrates, which give you energy with staying power. Look for items such as low-fat whole-grain crackers, whole-grain pretzels and whole-grain crispbreads.
  • Fruits and vegetables. Eating fruits and vegetables provides a feeling of fullness with no fat and only a small number of calories. They also provide vitamins, minerals, fiber and other nutrients.
  • Nuts and seeds. Nuts and seeds provide protein, so you will feel fuller longer. They can be high in fat, but it’s mostly monounsaturated, a healthy kind of fat. Nuts and seeds are high in calories, however, so don’t eat them in large quantities.
  • Low-fat dairy products. Cheese, yogurt and other dairy products are good sources of calcium and protein, plus many other vitamins and minerals. Dairy products can be high in fat, so choose the low-fat versions. Some yogurts have extra added sugar, so look for low-calorie or “light” varieties.

Though snacks can contribute to a healthy diet, they can also be a source of excess calories if not eaten in moderation. For example, a single serving of almonds (about 23 kernels, or a handful) contains 163 calories. But if you eat a cup of almonds, the calorie count jumps to 800-plus calories.



Quick, easy-to-prepare snacks

You’ll find it easier to choose good-for-you snacks if you stock your refrigerator and shelves with foods that are fast — not fussy. These ideas for healthy snacks minimize fat and calories and maximize whole grains, fruits and vegetables.

  • Toast one-half of a whole-wheat English muffin. Top with one slice Canadian bacon, a tomato slice and one slice low-fat American cheese. Microwave until the cheese melts.
  • Mash half a banana into 2 teaspoons peanut butter and spread onto a whole-grain bagel. Large bagels contain up to 300 calories, so choose a smaller 2-ounce bagel.
  • Mix 1/4 cup cold leftover chicken or convenience-type chunk chicken with sliced seedless grapes, 1/2 tablespoon sunflower seeds, 1 tablespoon plain yogurt or fat-free mayonnaise, and a dash of curry powder. Stuff into a hollowed-out green pepper or half of a whole-wheat pita pocket.
  • Spread 1 tablespoon part-skim ricotta cheese over one-half of a small cinnamon-raisin bagel. Sprinkle with cinnamon if desired and top with a thinly sliced apple.
  • Layer a 6-inch soft corn or flour tortilla with 2 tablespoons shredded low-fat cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese. Microwave until the cheese melts. Slice into bite-sized pie shapes. Dip into some salsa if desired.
  • Spread 1 tablespoon ricotta cheese over a brown rice cake. Layer with fresh strawberries or a tablespoon of sugar-free spreadable fruit. Or try using a spread of herbed goat cheese and sliced olives.
  • Top a small baked potato with 2 tablespoons fat-free plain yogurt and sprinkle with Cajun seasoning.
  • Spread 1 tablespoon fruit-flavored low-fat yogurt or 100 percent fruit jam over a slice of whole-grain crispbread.

chocolate covered strawberry

A few links for snack recipes:

Chocolate Covered Strawberries


All Recipes




Originally uploaded by Ms Ladyred

Yes I believe in hard work but there is something to be said about warming up before you workout. Warming up is way getting the muscles limber with easy but brisk movements. A good way to warm up your goal achievement muscles is by starting with what you are good at. Your talents are what make you special and can make you feel rejuvenated. Sometimes I think that talents are underrated, some people are so consumed with what needs to change in their life that they forget to celebrate and improve the things that they are excel. So all I ask of you is to take some time to figure out your talents, everything you can think of and write them down. If you have a New You Journal make sure you get it out and title this My Talents and just brainstorm. What are you good at? What are you great at? What do other people complement you on? Even if it is something you can’t take credit for, like your beauty, write it down any way. Also ask yourself when people come to me for help or advice what is the topic or the thing that they need? What special skills do I have? What classes did I ace? Write down your degrees, your hobbies, and make sure you share your hidden talents? In other words write till you can’t write any more.

Once you finished I want you to get out your New You Goals. If you read New You New Year and followed the step than you should go by those goal you credited. Read and pick out all of the talents that will help you with each goal; complete one goal at a time and feel free to repeat talents. On a new list write out each goal and all of the talents that will help you accomplish that goal. If you have some goals that don’t have any conceding talents brainstorm so more. If you get stuck ask you family and friends for help. If you feel comfortable, let them know what you are doing, otherwise just vaguely ask them what some of best attributes. If their answers are vague give them the subject, for example if your goal is to gain new friends you can ask them what it is about you that makes them want to be your friend. If you just can’t come up with a talent of your own, fund someone who you think is talented and asks them to “mentor” you. For example, I you suck and personal finance ask you rich uncle, not for money, but for advice. If that person hesitate to help find someone else or offer them help in exchange (I’ll mow you lawn, or I’ll cook you dinner if I can ask you for advice once a week, again use your talents as you guide). While you at it find a community, online community are great, of people where you can also seek advice for attaining your goals.

Now that you have a wealth of talent to work form come up with a game plan. On a new page come up with at least four steps you can take for each goals (try to keep your talents in mind). This week commit to completing one step for each goal per week. If you have seven goals you can complete one step for one goal a day. That’s why I think it is good to assign a day for. For Love Lust and Life I have come up with themed days to help me stay balanced and productive. Sometimes I skip a day or change the order, but I attempt to make it up later. The most important thing is that every day you do at least one thing toward accomplishing your goals. Oh I almost forgot to tell you that it is very important look at your goals every day. Print out, or write out, your New You Goals and Put it where you can see and read it every day. I love the idea of framing them in a pretty frame and putting them on your night stand. For me though I tape the up on my bedroom door at eye level so I can’t miss them, even if I try.

Mindful Eating

January 12, 2009

Have you ever had trouble remembering what you ate for lunch when its dinner time? Does your spoon give you your only workout for the day as you shovel down a pint of ice cream? Have you ever choked on a big piece of food because you had not chewed it up enough? Well I don’t know about you but I have been guilty of mindless eating. Whether I feel hungry or not, excited to eat or not, the results are usually the same, I sit down to eat while watching the TV or talking to my family without paying much attention to the food or my eating habits. This year I have a few goals that I want to accomplish but I decided that in order to help my success I would sometimes combine two or more goals. That started a web search on Mindful Weight loss which introduced me to the concept of Mindful Eating.


The Center Of Mindful Eating has created this a list of mindful eating priciples.

Mindful Eating is:
• Allowing yourself to become aware of the positive and nurturing
opportunities that are available through food preparation and consumption by respecting your own inner wisdom.
• Choosing to eat food that is both pleasing to you and nourishing to your body by using all your senses to explore, savor and taste.
• Acknowledging responses to food (likes, neutral or dislikes) without judgment.
• Learning to be aware of physical hunger and satiety cues to guide your decision to begin eating and to stop eating.


Stephanie Vangsness, R.D., posted an article on Brigham and Women’s Hospital that included an eating exercise:

Do this exercise with a friend. You will need one small slice of an apple for each person. One person reads the instructions listed below while the other person completes the exercise.

  1. Take one bite of an apple slice and then close your eyes. Do not begin chewing yet.
  2. Try not to pay attention to the ideas running through your mind, just focus on the apple. Notice anything that comes to mind about taste, texture, temperature and sensation going on in your mouth.
  3. Begin chewing now. Chew slowly, just noticing what it feels like. It’s normal that your mind will want to wander off. If you notice you’re paying more attention to your thinking than to the chewing, just let go of the thought for the moment and come back to the chewing. Notice each tiny movement of your jaw.
  4. In these moments you may find yourself wanting to swallow the apple. See if you can stay present and notice the subtle transition from chewing to swallowing.
  5. As you prepare to swallow the apple, try to follow it moving toward the back of your tongue and into your throat. Swallow the apple, following it until you can no longer feel any sensation of the food remaining.
  6. Take a deep breath and exhale.


Here a video to help you understand what it is to eat mindlessly.  When I watched it I have to admit it was a little weird at first but you get use to it.


There were a few links I found very helpful:

Mindful Eating by Thich Nhat Hanh

Mindful eating vs. mindless munching by Goldman

The CAMP System


If you liked this post you migh also like:

Healthy Snacks

Mindfullnes Affrimations




I love Joyce Meyer and her practical preaching style.  The first time saw here I was at work and I was kind of surprised to see a woman preaching.  I knew that there a few out there but I had never know that I woman could have such a large ministry.  Once I got over that i listened to her and feel in love with her message.   I want speak for her but I will share what I get from her:  God loves us no matter what we do, stop worrying about what’s everybody else is doing wrong and focus on yourself,  the bible is meant to be a guide for your heart and life. 

Check out the videos below to see Joyce Meyer teach about “Freedom From Worry and Anxiety“.



My 12 Lemondaid Goals

January 8, 2009


Originally uploaded by hkvam





Now I want to make a disclaimer. This is my first time trying to be organized with my resolutions and I am making it up as I go, but I do believe that all the steps will be helpful. My desire is to make goal achievement very practical for myself, to set up a lifestyle of balanced living, and to conquer the feelings that come with being overwhelmed. I am middle age I realized that I have never made a long term plan for my life, and I think that maybe is the reason I have been in a rut in different areas of my life. So this year is a new opportunity to change that around and actually be working towards living the life and being the kind of person I want to be. Dr Phil says, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” So let me acknowledge some of my problems and share my goals.

this Sicilian Lemon is going to become Limoncello
My Twelve Lemons 2009
1) Mental- I fear the disapproval others and it leads to have a lot of insecurities.

2) Social- My lack of confidence makes me fearful of a lot of social situations.

3) Finance- My husband is the only one working and we don’t have enough income to pay our bills and accomplish our goals.

4) Family- I’m not as close to my family as I use to be, or as close as I want to be.

5) Physical- I weight 215 lbs. I lack physical endurance and muscle tone.

6) Spiritual- I don’t know my purpose and I lack mindful awareness.

7) Home- My house is a mess and is disorganized.

8) Health- I have a fibroid that makes it difficult to conceive and causes other health problems.

9) Career- I’m not sure what I should do, or even if I should work at all.

10) Ethical- I feel like I should volunteer and help my community but I feel like I have too much to do already.

11) Education- I haven’t finished my degree and I don’t how to obtain it.

12) Cultural- I have a strong desire to travel abroad and try new things but my social awareness and my lack of funds make it hard to do.

 Fountain Pen & Moleskine
My New Year’s Resolutions 2009

1) I want be confident and to learn what to do when other people seem to disapprove of me.

2) I want to be comfortable, charming and friendly in all social situations.

3) I want to earn my own income, enough to live debt free and build wealth.

4) I want to maintain close friendship within my family.

5) I want to weight 135lbs, be able to run five miles and have great muscle tone.

6) I want to know my God given purpose and become strong in mindful awareness.

7) I want my home to be clean, very organized and cutely decorated.

8) I want to be free of my fibroid and fertile.

9) I would to decide what I career I want to pursue, create my own business where I can work from home and hire employees.

10) I want to make time to use my talents and experience to help other by volunteering.

11) I want to finish my Psychology degree.

12) I want to experience different cultures in all forms, and travel abroad.

New You- Creating Goals

January 8, 2009

Want to know how I spent New Years Eve? I stayed at home with the family and watched Vanilla Sky. Or at least I tried to; I actually started falling asleep around 11 pm. I had to fight to wake up for the countdown. I know that it is not very exciting but I actually enjoyed myself.  So much so that I was up until 3 am, go figure. The first thing on my to do list was to complete my list of New Year’s Resolutions. I know, I’m a little late but I don’t stress about the timing. So what about you, have you finished you list yet. If you haven’t maybe you can follow these steps and create a list that will be a great beginning.


1) Get out a notebook or a journal that is just for your New You Goals.  Follow the instructions from Part 1….

Read the entire article on LL&L.