Last week I wrote a post on Jeremiah 17:5. The post was about the difference between men who trust in God verses a man who does not. Trusting in God will help you to flourish and feel God’s protection. While this is beautiful sentiment it does not help much when you are in the midst of struggling with doubt. I feel like I trust God a lot but I still experience a lot anxiety about money, resentment against injustice and I still lack clarity in life’s my purpose. Can you relate? Have you had moments in your life where you believe in God’s existence but have a hard time praying or asking him for guidance because something you’ve experienced leaves you doubting His power, His grace, His goodness or even maybe His existence all together?

When we hold on, for dear life, to doctrines or belief systems that don’t answer life questions it leaves us superficial, full of doubt or anger, and stuck with weak and unstable convictions. Romans 8: 28,”And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Everything that we experience in life can become good and purposeful, even doubt or any emotion that we deem as negative. Doubt happens when we hit a wall, when something happens that our beliefs tell us was impossible. Let’s say that you belief that God loves good people and will protect them from harm. What happens when someone you know and love is tragically killed? You hit a wall. You ask yourself if God protects every good person then there are only two chooses either that person was not good or God does not exist. Maybe you can even figure out more questions, but all seem to have a negative and unspiritual undertone. It is hard to overcome this, but I believe that people are meant to have experiences like these in order to grow in faith, wisdom and discernment. As people mature they gain a new perspective that had not even fathomed before. That happens when they allow themselves to doubt and ask, and later get answers to, new questions.

People have said don’t put God in a box; what that means to me is don’t worry about knowing everything about God or answering questions that only he should answer. Instead spend time with God: in prayer, learning to love people more deeply and getting in touch with your own soul and spirit. The more time you spend with Him the more you will understand that though He is stable and dependable he is also flexible. His plan and purpose is different for everyone; but without knowing Him personally it can look as if He doesn’t care or shows favoritism.

I use to be leaglistic; I had a long list of Can’ts and Won’ts that left me feeling stagnant, insecure and controlled. Finally I hit a spiritual walls that would not allow me to continue living that way.  Now I feel so much freedom and have gained a deeper relationship with God.

Thank God for walls, they are there to keep you safe and provide stability: the walls in your house keep out most thieves, highway walls (or dividers) keep a lot of cars from crashing, and emotional walls keep abusive people  out of your life.  So if you hit a wall, figure out why it’s there, then decide if it is keeping you safe or if it’s time to for a break through. Breakthroughs lead to more faith and joy than you could have ever imagined. Don’t worry about doubting; instead stretch all the boxes of confinement in your life.

Can you think of a time when doubting something or someone has helped you?


Hard Times

September 6, 2008

I used to be scared of thunderstorms. I can remember being about nine years old and visualizing a lighting strike, and our house instantly engulfed in flames. When it stormed at night, I’d sit in bed reassuring myself that my family would probably survive. One day I decided that I was not going to be scared any more. I had no clue how to accomplish that, but I believed that I owned my feelings and thoughts, they did not own me.

That was a pivotal moment for me. I was always intrigued by the power of emotions versus the inner strength. Up until then my feelings and thoughts came and went as they pleased; I’d never wondered whether or not I had some say in those moments. Lucky for me I naturally emote and think in the middle bell curve, rarely the extremes. Before I could feel and hear my heart pound after each rattle of thunder, now I found myself in awe of the beauty that God orchestrated. Instead of hiding and hoping for the best, I was drenched with exhilaration and appreciation. 
I’ve had other moments like that where I felt uncomfortable with an emotion or noticed an inappropriate thought and decided to exchange it with feeling good and constructive thoughts Strenght Courage and Wisdom. I did not understand then how I achieved but I think I have some insight now. The heart of each soul is mindfulness. Mindfulness comes when you can observe your thoughts and feelings without identifying with them. Mindfulness is the source of peace, courage and wisdom and the path of success.

I’ve had a wonderful life; I even suspect that some would consider me a little sheltered. However there was some sadness, some scares and some stumbles only the way. Hard times is not intended to be a pity party but a powerful exchange: sharing losses that others can relate to, letting go of the things that still haunt me, and forgiving faults. Each post in this page will be about the challenging times in my life, but I hope that you leave feeling refreshed and relived. I thank God for every victory and for every tear. I can’t imagine where I’d be without His love and his power. I this page evoke my spiritual side but I hope to reach every, no matter what your beliefs are. If a story touches you please join my social network, Love Lust and Life, and start a discussion or share your own story.