I stopped going to church about 2 years ago. I became a church member when I was 22 year-old and I thought of the church as my family. I loved church and it was a great sorce of learning and love.  I was able to accomplish things that I thought were impossible for me.  However, over a 6 year process, I started to find that my spirit felt heavy every time I attended a service. I knew that it was not the churches fault but I did not know what to do about it….

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Hard Times

September 6, 2008


I used to be scared of thunderstorms. I can remember being about nine years old and visualizing a lighting strike, and our house instantly engulfed in flames. When it stormed at night, I’d sit in bed reassuring myself that my family would probably survive. One day I decided that I was not going to be scared any more. I had no clue how to accomplish that, but I believed that I owned my feelings and thoughts, they did not own me.

That was a pivotal moment for me. I was always intrigued by the power of emotions versus the inner strength. Up until then my feelings and thoughts came and went as they pleased; I’d never wondered whether or not I had some say in those moments. Lucky for me I naturally emote and think in the middle bell curve, rarely the extremes. Before I could feel and hear my heart pound after each rattle of thunder, now I found myself in awe of the beauty that God orchestrated. Instead of hiding and hoping for the best, I was drenched with exhilaration and appreciation. 
I’ve had other moments like that where I felt uncomfortable with an emotion or noticed an inappropriate thought and decided to exchange it with feeling good and constructive thoughts Strenght Courage and Wisdom. I did not understand then how I achieved but I think I have some insight now. The heart of each soul is mindfulness. Mindfulness comes when you can observe your thoughts and feelings without identifying with them. Mindfulness is the source of peace, courage and wisdom and the path of success.

I’ve had a wonderful life; I even suspect that some would consider me a little sheltered. However there was some sadness, some scares and some stumbles only the way. Hard times is not intended to be a pity party but a powerful exchange: sharing losses that others can relate to, letting go of the things that still haunt me, and forgiving faults. Each post in this page will be about the challenging times in my life, but I hope that you leave feeling refreshed and relived. I thank God for every victory and for every tear. I can’t imagine where I’d be without His love and his power. I this page evoke my spiritual side but I hope to reach every, no matter what your beliefs are. If a story touches you please join my social network, Love Lust and Life, and start a discussion or share your own story.